This is a very bad one, but maybe it’s funny. There were two people selling furniture in the market, and the first person asked the second, “I don’t know how you manage to sell it so cheaply; even if I sell it at the base cost, without any interest at all, without any gain at all, I could only make four dollars apiece. And you sell it for two dollars, how come?” So the other person said, “Well, you should learn to do it like me. I go and steal it.” I can sell at whatever cost. Terrible, terrible. It’s a bad joke. I think it’s finished now.
Oh. There was a child who was running around, making a noise in the library. So the mother called her and said, “Shh, don’t make so much noise. People cannot read.” So she said, “If they cannot read, what are they doing here?” In a library.
Two persons, there’s a Senator who is running for the Senate. So after driving his wife home, both of them just threw themselves on their bed and were exhausted. So the husband said, “Wah, I have never been so tired in my life.” Then, the wife also said, “Oh, yes, I can’t remember the last time I have been so tired like this.” So the husband Senator said, “Well, I am tired because I have to read the speech seven times. But you have done nothing. How come you are tired?” So the wife said, “Yeah, because I had to listen to it seven times.” Terrible.
One of the candidates was going from house to house to try to advertise himself. And so giving people the introduction of his life and literature, one by one. One time, he went into a house and then he had not even opened his mouth and there was a big dog already in the open. The dog smiled and barked at him loudly and chased after him. So he threw his literature back to the woman and ran. So the woman said, “What are you running for?” And the man said, “Congress.” He’s running for Congress. You understand? (Yes.) Only the Americans understand that.
There was a couple who went for holidays, just like Disneyland or something, and there was one place, outside it stated: “Echo Point.” Meaning whenever you speak, it echoes back to you. So the wife told the husband, “You try.” And the husband said, “Well, I think it’s silly, but OK. If you want, I’ll try it.” So he talked to the machine He said, “Baloney.” And nothing happened. So he tried again, “Baloney.” He talked very loud into the machine. So nothing happened. So the wife said, “Try again.” And then the husband, with louder voice, tried with all his might talking into the echo system, saying, “I’m the most handsome guy!” And you know what happened. And then now, both of them heard the echo back, “Baloney.”
A husband said to his wife, I’m sure all our three children, when grown up, will become doctors.” So the wife said, “How do you know?” The husband said: “Because they never come when we need them.”
There was a girl who came to a clothing shop, and asked the man who sells the clothes, “Can I try the bikini on in the window there?” So the man said, “Of course, that will attract more customers.” You get it or not? (Yes.) Just a play of words. Alright.
So let’s see, where were we yesterday? (Thirty-six?) Now let’s become serious and try to be a Buddha. Where were we yesterday? Thirty-eight? (Thirty-eight.) Thirty-nine? (Thirty-nine.) Yeah. OK, now. Number 40. Now is the Buddha time. Number 40. You remember all this. Let’s introduce a little for those who didn’t hear yesterday. When Shiva was asked by His wife about the method of concentration, He told Her many. And we have been through to 39. Today we begin again with 40.
Number 40: “You want to concentrate? One of the methods that you may try to consider, is the whole universe as your own body, full of bliss.” OK, you try.
And number 41: “If you are married, while being caressed,” He called Her “sweet princess,” “enter the caressing as the everlasting life.” Just try to turn the situation around so you don’t sink into the physical pleasure, but enter the pleasure just as much as the everlasting life. Then you just remember the everlasting life. And whenever you feel like your sense begins to draw you into the physical sensation, then you just stop right there, stop dead. So that’s how you block the door of sensations, if you want to. Alright.
Number 42: “At the beginning of sexual union, keep attentive on the fire in the beginning and continuing to avoid the embers at the end.” Understand? No? OK. If you don’t understand, then I don’t. What He means is that this is another kind of practice people use in Tantra yoga. People think Tantra yoga people indulge in pleasure seeking, but it’s not true. What they try to do is to satisfy the mind, but not exhaust their body and energy. Maybe they are engaged in sexual activity, but they never let the energy flow out into the empty physical world by not finishing the act of sexual union. You understand? If you don’t understand, you go and ask your doctor. I can’t... I can’t tell you everything here. If you don’t understand, it’s good. You don’t have to understand. It’s for married people, if they want to practice this. Because sometimes some people cannot avoid having sexual union together due to their bodily function. Some people have more sexual desire than other people.
I have read in the newspaper somewhere that lately in America they have done some research, and the result is that one out of ten couples in America don’t have sexual activities together. Or sometimes they have it in the beginning, and maybe a year or many months later they stop it altogether, and they’re happy without. Not that they cheat on each other, but they’re just happy. They’re finished. Maybe the time is up and they don’t need, they don’t desire, they don’t have any craving for this sexual drive anymore. And they exist together as husband and wife, but they don’t have any physical, sexual interaction with each other. That’s in America. Maybe elsewhere, it’s the same thing. Just because people don’t do research doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Therefore, you see the nuns and the monks and the priests and the sisters of many different orders, they also exist as human beings, but they don’t have sexual appetite. That happens.
In case you do, the Master here advises that you should not burn up your energy by letting your pleasure come to the climax end. Maybe you love each other and perhaps proceed with the sexual act, but don’t finish it. Just like continue to do it, but don’t finish. And therefore, preserve the desire for each other still all the time. But not exhausting each other and yourselves by releasing the energy from within. Do you understand what I mean? (Yes, I do.) OK. If you don’t, then try to ask your doctor about what I mean. Or I’ll tell you in private. Number 43 You do understand? (Yes.) OK.
OK, let me make it clearer. When the husband and wife have intercourse with each other, and then later if they finish it, they feel very exhausted because some of the energy through the form of liquid will leak out from their body to the outside. And that makes them very tired and exhausted and they age very quickly. According to research, again in America, every time you have intercourse, it doesn’t matter in what form, you age one day and a half more, quicker than normal, according to research. I am no expert. That’s why many people in India, they practice a form of yoga called Tantra yoga. That means they practice the act of lovemaking without having it come to an end. They just continue the activity but they do not let the fluid of the body come out. Now you understand? (Yes.) The fluid of the man will make a woman pregnant and have children. If they stop that fluid from within themselves, that’s what it means. Understand? (Yes.) So if you don’t let the fluid come out, it’s OK. That’s what He meant. This is for the husband and wife, in case they cannot stop the desire for sexual intercourse altogether, then they could practice this method of Tantra yoga.
Photo Caption: “Outer Beauty Should B Fueled by Inner Beauty!”
