(Dear Master and fellow initiates, because Brother Ngọc Nôi and I are very close, so I was just joking.) Ah, always joking around. (It’s like we’re family, Master. Yes, when he came into the ashram, he told me and we both agreed that he didn’t look as cheerful then as he does today. Isn’t that right, everyone? Yes, agree.) That’s right, you look more handsome today. (Is that right, Brother Ngọc Nôi?) (Yes, right.) Because he has a beautiful wife, of course… (Yes. He accompanies Master’s poetry with the flute. It’s a great blessing to be near the Buddha like that, and it changes one’s life. And also, his flute sounds quite different from before, doesn’t it, everyone?) (Yes.) (And he has changed as well. When he plays the flute now, people really enjoy it. Also, the sound of his flute has reached a much higher level after accompanying [Supreme Master] Ching Hai’s poetry recitation. So I would also like to congratulate Brother Ngọc Nôi.) Come on now. He looks more handsome because he has a beautiful wife. Don’t blame everything on me. (Yes. We follow Master because, in our hearts and even for myself as well, each day is different and far better than before, since our lives have become more elevated than they used to be. So we are attached to Master to continue practicing, isn’t that right, everyone?) (Yes.) (It’s very much thanks to Master. Thank You, Master!)
(Next, I’d like to introduce to Master and fellow initiates the gentleman with the chipped tooth. I’m not sure whether the chipped tooth is real or not, but it was truly a great blessing that he received some money from Master, and he was very happy about it. Today, to repay Master and all the fellow initiates, he will come up to perform a very entertaining skit. Master and everyone, please give him a round of applause. Now, I would like to introduce one of our fellow initiates.) How could anyone perform without teeth? Hòa, please bring chairs for Nôi and Loan to sit. (Yes.) He’s wearing a suit, sitting on the ground will get it dirty. (Yes.) Are there any chairs? (Yes.)
(Greetings, dear Master. Hallo, fellow initiates.) Just looking at you is already funny, no need to perform. (Dear Master, to add some fun to tonight, I’d like to tell a funny story. If I don’t tell it well, Master, please throw me a few blessed [vegan] candies. I’ll pick them up and run right away.) Oh my! That’s it. What a loss. (Master, the story I’m about to tell) That’s crazy. (is about the nine sworn brothers in a certain village. But when speaking of those nine sworn brothers now, only two are left; the other seven have all died. Because in a certain village, from the beginning of the village to the end, and from one side to the other, whenever anyone asked about the nine sworn brothers, everyone knew them. Looking around that village, the population was also quite prosperous. At the entrance of the village, you could see the population board, and on it there were only five people listed. Because all the numbers after that had disappeared.
Master, I’m only recounting the story. The two brothers remaining are Brother Eight Slacker and Brother Four Limping. Before I tell the story of Brother Eight Slacker and Brother Four Limping, I would like to describe the way the other six brothers walked. The first brother wasn’t anything special. When he walked, every two steps he would sway once. Then that’s how he kept walking: two steps, then a sway. Master, please allow me to act out the way he walked. Then the next one was Brother Three Swaying, also called Brother Three Diagonal. When he walked, he was afraid his foot might step on something, so with every step he would glance and take a look. And Brother Four Limping…) Just walk. (The way he walked wasn’t very normal either. Wherever he went, he always carried a handkerchief. And before he walked, he would put on quite a show; he wasn’t very normal either. Whenever he walked, he kept flicking his hand.) Not at all. (Whenever he felt sad, he walked very slowly. When he was happy, he’d limp two or three steps at a time, Master.) If you imitate those people, they’d feel really sad.
(Then the next one was Brother Five Slanting. Even on a straight road, the way he walked would turn it into a curve. Next is Brother Six Packed. And next is Brother Seven Swerving. I wonder if his eyes have a disability like mine, Master. There’s nobody at all on the path he’s walking, but sometimes he imagines that someone is standing right in front of him blocking the way, so he swerves to avoid them. The road is completely empty – there’s no one there at all – but when his eyes start seeing spots, he walks along all twitchy.) OK, OK. Your trousers are coming down. (That’s it?) They’re supposed to be up. (Dear Master, he just keeps walking like that. The road is completely empty, there’s no one at all, but he walks as if he’s running into people along the way. But when there are people there, he doesn’t avoid them and keeps bumping into them.
As for Brother Eight Slacker, he’s still alive. He hasn’t done anything special or remarkable. He talks a good talk, but when it comes time to do it, he just stands there watching other people do the work. He has a very distinctive walk. Master can tell right away just by looking at him. As for Brother Nine… the way he walked… He has already passed away, but people used to call him Brother Nine Firewood. The way he walked looked like people who chop firewood. Next, I would like to talk about the two remaining brothers, Brother Eight Slacker and Brother Four Limping. From one end of the village to the other, if you ask about the two remaining brothers, everyone knows who they are.) You forgot already?
(That afternoon, Brother Four Limping was hurrying along the road to Brother Eight Slacker’s house. Then he saw Brother Eight Slacker ahead of him. He walked like this. And he called out, “Brother Eight! Brother Eight! Brother Eight! Brother Eight!” When Brother Eight Slacker heard Four Limping calling his name, he didn’t even bother to stop, he just kept on walking. He walked on like that, not even turning back to see who that guy was. If Four Limping caught up with him, it would only bring bad luck. But Brother Four Limping kept panting as he called out, “Brother Eight! Brother Eight!” Brother Eight Slacker got so annoyed that he became angry and stopped. He stood there waiting. He puffed out his cheeks, glared with wide eyes, and waited for Four Limping to come over to see what he had to say.
When Four Limping arrived, he said, “Brother Eight, I have something to tell you, but you have to listen carefully. I’m even going to say it in English, proper English, real English. It is: ‘I have an idea for you.’” Eight Slacker widened his eyes and asked, “What language are you speaking, Four Limping?” “I’m speaking proper English. Let me explain it to you: ‘I have an’ means I have one, have one. ‘Idea for you.’ ‘Idea’ means idea for you. Let me tell you, I’ll explain it to you: ‘I have an idea for you.’ It means I have a new plan for you. But this is very important.” Then he said, “There is such such,” meaning it’s something important. “There is such such.”
After explaining it to Brother Eight Slacker, he quickly said, “I have an idea for you. There is such such.” Then Brother Eight Slacker said, “Alright, Four Limping, I beg you. You can’t even speak Aulacese [Vietnamese] properly yet, and you’re already trying to speak English.” Then Eight Slacker asked Four Limping, “What is it? Speak quickly so I can go on my way.” Then Four Limping said, “I have something, a very important plan, it’s brand new. All these years, the two of us have lived in this village for thirty-five years. We don’t even have wives or children, and we don’t have any career either. Let’s leave this place and go up to Sài Gòn to make a living. Maybe we’ll be lucky and make some money, or maybe we’ll even find love; life would be wonderful then.” Eight Slacker said, “From the time we were young until now, this is the first time I’ve heard you tell a story, a very special plan. Alright then, go home and pack your clothes, and you and I will go up to Sài Gòn together to make a living. This time we have to be really determined to make something of ourselves, Four Limping.” So the two of them agreed. Then Eight Slacker said again, “Tomorrow morning I’ll wait for you at Squatting Bridge. As soon as the rooster[-person] crows, I’ll be waiting for you at Squatting Bridge.”
Early the next morning, Brother Eight Slacker got ready and waited at Squatting Bridge. Because every evening people would sit there squatting like that, they ended up calling it Squatting Bridge. Eight Slacker waited from morning until the afternoon, and by three o’clock Four Limping still hadn’t shown up. Then around 3:30 PM, that fellow Four Limping finally limped over. By then, Eight Slacker was already getting angry. He asked, “Four Limping, did you go home to say goodbye to all your ancestors or something? Why are you only getting here now, Four Limping?” Four Limping replied, “Well, you told me to come when the rooster(-person) crows. But this morning, the rooster[-person] over in that neighborhood was captured and taken away to be sold. Now it’s afternoon and they still couldn’t sell him; so they brought him back. Only then did he crow and I could come to meet you. Why are you scolding me? Huh? You don’t show me any respect at all. I’ve followed you, I even left my hometown to follow you and you’re still scolding me. You told me to wait until the rooster[-person] crowed, and it only crowed at three in the afternoon, so that’s when I came. This morning it didn’t crow, so how could I come?”) Oh my! (Then…) There’s more.
(Anyway, the two of them settled things between themselves and then packed up to go to Sài Gòn to make a living. On their way up to Sài Gòn to make a living, sometimes they did find work, and sometimes they didn’t. Because of the way Brother Eight Slacker was, wherever he went, he persuaded people very well. But when it came time to work, he would just stand there watching other people do it, so of course nobody would hire him. Later they arrived at a village nearby where a big festival was held only once every ten years. By then, the two of them were trembling with hunger. They had been hungry for three or four days already. They had no money at all. Eight Slacker said to Four Limping, “This time, we’ll finally have something to eat, Four Limping.” Four Limping replied, “Yeah, I’m counting on you. I’ve been starving for three days now and haven’t had a single grain of rice.”
After that, Eight Slacker and Four Limping arrived at a village where a large crowd gathered to watch a lively performance. Eight Slacker went up to the village head and said, “Sir, sir, my younger brother and I have come from the village over there to this village here. We see that everything here is joyful. My brother and I would like to perform a few funny stories and acts for everyone’s enjoyment tonight. Please allow us.” The village head said, “Oh, that’s wonderful. That sounds like great fun. Alright then, let us prepare some food for you two to eat first. After you’ve eaten, you can perform.” Eight Slacker replied, “Oh no, sir, please don’t prepare any food. We just ate at the eatery at the entrance of the village.” Then Four Limping flared up and blurted out, “We haven’t had a single grain of rice for three days, and you still say we just ate at the eatery at the village entrance.” Dear Master, I would like to stop here. Thank You, Master.) That was terrible! Terrible! Terrible! Does anyone have any tomatoes to throw? OK. (Next time, try to find a better story to present. It felt a bit too long and not very interesting, Master, right?)
Photo Caption: “Free to Grow, Taller and Taller Above”
